BDSM Question

 This is something I've wanted to address for a while. It's a bit of a long winded post, but if you have time please take a look. 


Question by Anonymous :
[A] submissive willingly become slaves to their emotions, forced on
them by their dominate counterpart's? So what does that mean, that their
insane, or simply helpless to their lust?

My Answer: 

Hey!

Okay,I'm going to try and answer your question, hopefully I understand what you're trying to ask.

submissive aren't slaves unless specified when they enter an arrangement with the particular Dom. In this case, Bella and Edward are entering in to a relationship with BDSM elements. I think if you'd like to really understand those elements you can read the wiki on it. (They put it in layman's terms better than I can.) This is the link to the site.


submissive's in a relationship with a Dom -whether that be exclusively,(by collaring) or for a scene or two give themselves over to the Dom. This arrangement isn't taken lightly by either party. The Dominant is responsible for the submissive, meaning her physical and emotional needs(her well being is in his hands.) The submissive is putting her trust in the Dominant to treat her with respect and care. Ususally a contract of sorts is drawn between the two, where they highlight in detail the things they are and are not willing to do. Again, read this little excerpt for a better understand that I cant really explain in this short email.


D/s relationships are another form of relationship. The two or more coupled in the relationship take the things they need from each other to feel whole and satisfied. Its a great deal more than sex, a lot of emotional care and understanding goes into it. Does it make them insane? To some people, it might seem that way, but I look at it like this:

I like sky diving, you may not. Is it insane for me to dive out of plane, 50,000 feet in the air with only the aid of  a parachute to lower me safely to the ground, that may or may not open? To you, sure, it might seem that way, but to me not so much.

(I know that sounds a little extreme in terms...but for me it sort of puts it all in perspective.In life, everything has its rinks. The same apply to any relationship, not just BDSM ones. By this I mean you're putting yourself on the line in one form or another. I find that D/s relationship are very similar to regular vanilla lifestyle relationships. (the only real difference is...there's more kink involved with BDSM.) You can still have love and heartbreak, and even with BDSM...it might be more or less than any other 'normal vanilla' relationship. It depends on the people involved.)

The D/s relationship is a lifestyle that is chosen and embraced by the people that practice it. Some in the community really get into BDSM aspects, while other just enjoy of having every aspect of their lives controlled by another. So in a way, I suppose you could say that they are sort of helpless to their lust, but in my opinion, its no different than a diabetic needing their insulin. Its literally something they need in their life to survive.

So like I said, if you're interested in really understanding the kinda of 'logic' behind it, I suggest reading the bdsm wiki. It'll just put things in a better perspective for you than I'm able to in a single email. :)

I hope that answers you question and gives you a little bit of a better understanding. :)

Important Note:
I've been getting a lot of emails reguaridng questions about BDSM and websites to find communities in your area. I just wanted to say I am in no way an expert on this stuff. I do a lot of my own research and have a friend involved in a D/s relationship that I talk to.

So, its important for me to tell you to be careful out there.

There are many websites out there based on D/s and BDSM communities. Please be weary of them, the internet is not always a safe place. (as I'm sure I don't need to explain.) The reason I wrote Master of My Heart was to show that their are people out there that will take advantage of you. There are people like James out there, and they'll ruin your life.

So please don't make stupid, careless mistakes. Do your research and make informed choices. There are a few community site I can recommend, but please keep in mind that like any community, you should enter at your own risk. Please don't get gullible and give out your personal information. Practice internet safety at all costs and if you do decide to get involved with a community, do it safely.  Meet people out in the open at a local munch and let someone you know, know what you're doing.

Keep in mind MoMH is based off of true RL events. Most of the things that I wrote, (What James did to Bella,) did happen to my friend. I would be extremely sad and hurt to hear that anything even close happened to one of you guys. So please be SAFE and heed my warnings.

Recommended Site for finding a BDSM community in your area:



So like I said, please make informed choices, do your research and be safe. This is a lifestyle that should be taken extremely seriously by anyone even considering getting involved.



If you have any other questions don't hesitate to ask me, I'll do by best to answer you or direct you to someone who can. 

Thanks again guys. (I'm working on updates right now. So watch your inbox's.)

<3 Always,
B

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Chapter 36 - A Shock to the Nervous System

Life

The first 2500 words of Chapter 31>MoMH